Help me write something

I'm contemporary fine jewelry designer just starting my company and building my web site, need  re-write artist bio. Here is my long draft, need to make it not boring but enticing to read, and  Also need a short version to use for marketing, below is my long dreary draft:I was born artistic and crafty, which were called something different back in China where I was brought up. I never knew that it could lead to a skill that would make a living. Instead, I was in business school studying Accounting, and realizing day after day, numbers after dollar sign simply not making sense to me. I had innate sense of how to putting things together in special way, at age 6 I gave my mom instruction on how to alter my dad's shirt. At 14, I hand stitched up my first button down long sleeve shirt with turned over collar. I was also born ambitious, know that somehow I was different and want to make an impact in life in some way. I developed impeccable sense of style in fashion around age 16, and kept feeling I was different. With my sister's support in every possible way, I came to the U.S. to study Fashion Design and graduated with honor. Four years fashion design training in Parson's School of Design imprinted "high quality", "originality", "authenticity"  in my mind set, which highly influenced me in everything I did afterward. Gradually over the course of life, I found my passion in jewelry making, addicted to it and became a self taught silver and goldsmith. I started making jewelry since 2007. Once I managed bending a piece of silver wire into an ear hook and smooth out the end, I knew I opened a door to a whole new world! That year my first daughter Lyrie was born.  I named my Etsy shop Jewelyrie by combining my new found passion and my daughter's name. I started with basic wire wrapping and quickly moved on to simple metal smithing, that's when I discovered, I LOVE METAL! Once I managed soldering with micro torch, endless ideas flushed in. I explored with great excitement for a few years, then had to take a two year leave from 2010 to 2012, touring with my 9 year old daughter who was casted in a broadway musical national tour, taking my 100 day old boy along. Being away from my studio was hard, but I took advantage of that period of time furthered my study of new techniques with intensive reading and learnt about many metal smithing techniques from videos. Nothing challenge me like jewelry making techniques did and still do, that pushed, inspired, and excited me. After the tour ended, I couldn't wait to put what I'd learnt into practice! One huge step I took was to replace my micro torch with acetylene torch and start working with gold, my hand was trembling with nervousness and great excitement when first time soldering a small 14k gold open circle to Argentium silver wire shank! From there I developed my minimalistic Geometric line, which was implement of basic gold smithing technique, followed by infinity twist wedding band collection, which was just the beginning. With stone setting technique developed, came along the innovative Lotus Petal birthstone stacking ring, V crown ring,  Darling Opal ring... and then started my very original alternative engagement ring and fine jewelry line!  With broadened and sharpened skills, came along a fundemental question for myself, what direction I should take? Which puzzlered me for years! One thing happened in early Spring 2015 made me stand out as jewelry artist: my sister reached out to me and requested a custom designed, bold Sterling silver jewelry piece as a very special birthday present for a very special person, who's fond of bold Sterling silver jewelry, which was quite out of my comfort zone of design. But hey, sis was paying, I'd go for it! I made recommendation of stone choice, and set out to design VEDA moonstone and Sterling silver three part necklace and earring set. One week after I received the set of fancy cut free form moonstone cabochons, I turned what's on the sketchbook into reality! In this necklace and earring set, I blend in my deep down to the root inspirations of Chinese Calligraphy, dance, movement, and music, infused my keen sense of style, distinguish design aesthetic, and high quality obsession, created a piece of art that not only amazed my customer, but also stunned myself! I also won Rio Grande Mothers Day design contest with this piece! VEDA made me clearly see who I really am, an artist, with very distinguished style and high standard! I know then exactly what I can contribute to this world, to this generation and hopefully, generations after: I want my creation to become great work of art to indulge, enrich, empower, and transcend.