Funny bar signs työt

I'm looking to secure a 3D render of my sushi train renovation for client approval. The design should reflect a modern aesthetic with oak accents and timber features. Key Elements: - Seating arrangement - Ceiling details - Wall finishes - Floor new grey 600x600 tiles I'm particularly intereste...main features) would be ideal. I have attached photos of the current sushi train area. The current ceiling above the train and the green leafy wall will be demolished. Ceiling, green leafy wall and parallel wall will be painted black which will have oak timber battens running along ceiling and side walls at 450 centres. Ceiling will have battens running both ways criss cross 450 centres. The bar/ reception and two side pillars next to entrance will have decorative timber wal...

I'm looking for: - Architects who have fresh and unconventional perspectives. - Not afraid to take creative risks and propose innovative solutions. Your experience and skills: - You should be enthusiastic, innovative, and constantly up-to-date with the latest trends in architecture. - Your portfolio demonstrates a range of designs in both residential an...solutions. Your experience and skills: - You should be enthusiastic, innovative, and constantly up-to-date with the latest trends in architecture. - Your portfolio demonstrates a range of designs in both residential and commercial properties. - Proven ability to work on projects of varying sizes and complexity. Please remember, the distance you're willing to go with your creativity will set the bar in this undefined ye...

I'm in need of an experienced designer to create a vibrant, eye-catching flyer to promote an upcoming outdoor movie night. The target audience is the general public, so it should be appealing to a broad range of people. We will be playing the movie migration, and I would like to have that incorporated into the flyer. Details for the flyer: Popcorn, and nacho bar will be provided. Time 7:00 PM Address 2019 Nute St Bakersfield California 93312 Date May 18Th Please bring camping chair, or blanket to sit on for the movie.

In need of a well-rounded expert in Tableau to help me in visualizing a range of data sets including sales data, customer engagement data, and market analysis data. I believe that this task calls for a ...data sets including sales data, customer engagement data, and market analysis data. I believe that this task calls for a wide range of data visualization skills and it's crucial that you are efficient in creating all sorts of charts including bar charts, pie charts, line graphs, among others. To fully capture my vision and needs, the ideal freelancer must have: - Advantaged skills in Tableau for data visualization - Expertise in visualizing sales data, customer engagement data, and market analysis data - Proficiency in creating diverse chart types: from bar charts, pie ...

I require an artist proficient in cartoonish styled-drawings to digitally illustrate clothes onto an existing picture of a dog. I am seeking 10 unique and simple drawings to be delivered in a 24hr timeframe. The clothes should be: * Trendy and funny * Varied, with a fresh look for each drawing See attachments for example. Chibi1 is the dog and the other two pics are examples. Budget is under $50.

I want to edit video we shot of improvised comedy in a NYC Yellow cab! We need an editor who is quick and creative and can edit our 15 minutes down to a tight and funny 3-5 minutes. You would be working at my apartment in Forest Hills, Queens on my iMac. My iMac is running the latest OS, with the latest Final Cut Pro, and is loaded with RAM! I'd like to keep our sessions at 2-3 hours. Interested? What is your availability? The key editing areas are: - Color correction: The video needs professional color grading to enhance the visual appeal and maintain consistency throughout the film. - Sound enhancement: Audio is a critical component of the film, so I need someone who can improve sound quality, adjust levels, and ensure the audio complements the visuals. - Visual effects...

...for me to read your message. I'm seeking a skilled web developer for the creation of a meme token website. Your task will be to construct a site that's engaging and easy to navigate for crypto investors, meme enthusiasts, and the general public. THIS WILL BE A PARODY OF THE AUDLT WEBSITE BUT WITH FUNNY MEME CONTENT. Key Features: - UI: This website will be a paradoy of one of the adult websites. This website will have similar UI like adult website will instead of porn videos, this will have funny videos. example -Like button on videos (For engagement): User should be able to like a video unlimited time and we should be able to track numbers. Example- User connects their wallet (cronos blockchain/ Metamask, defi wallet and wallet connect) and we keep track

Greetings. I am in need of some assistance with branding for a residential remodeling company located in the US National Capital Region. Key Tasks: - Formatting of Logo (existing logo available) - to be made available for use with different color backgrounds and sizes for use in print (from business cards, door hangers to yard signs) as well as web base applications (FAVicon, FB, website, etc.) - Design standard sized business card template (inclusive of logo) - Design template for door hangers (size 3.5 x 8.5 inches) inclusive of logo and stock images Application Requirements: - Please showcase your previous relevant work in the application to give me a clear idea of your capabilities. Looking forward to witnessing some creative works! Ideal candidates should have experience in...

As host of the Ultimate Backyard Party (Caribbean Carnival Week), I need a talented graphics designer to create a vibrant and engaging event flyer. The flyer must capture the spirit of Caribbean, featuring themes of vibrant colors, Caribbean flags and an under-the-tree promotional image showcasing our unique bar setup that is located under a tree in the backyard. I don't want images of the carnival masqueraders/costumes. Important event details that must be included are: - Event date and time - Location details - Live Band performance - Top local DJs - Extensive Caribbean breakfast menu, including johnny cakes, bread, and saltfish, and more A "break of day" background will set the mood for this dawn event. Experience in event or party flyers design is preferred, ...

...(ranging from 0 to 100) within Splunk. The plugin will enhance cybersecurity measures by providing real-time alerts and insights based on the scam score data. Key Deliverables API Integration: Securely integrate the my API to fetch scam scores for URLs processed within Splunk. Custom SPL Command: Implement a custom SPL command that allows users to invoke the my API directly from the Splunk search bar. Interactive Dashboards: Develop interactive Splunk dashboards that display scam scores and relevant analysis. Configuration Interface: Create a simple UI within Splunk for configuring the plugin settings, such as API keys and alert thresholds. Automated Alerts: Set up automated alerts in Splunk based on scam score thresholds to notify users of potential threats. Documentation: Prov...

I need a skilled mobile app developer to troubleshoot performance issues and crashes my app is experiencing. Your job will include: 1. Debugging and Fixing App Crashes: - The app is crashing and displays various error messages. Understanding this behavior across different devices will be necessary in developing a solution. 2. Improving App Performance: - The app is showing signs of slow performance such as lagging, load time delays, and slow response. Optimization of these issues for a smoother user experience will be crucial. 3. User Interface Enhancement: - Address some user interface issues, this could be linked to current performance glitches. 4. Uploading the Refined App: - Once all issues are addressed, you will need to upload the updated and optimized app t...

...craft unique shirt designs that are inspired by the vibrancy and originality found on goodieworks.com. The designs should incorporate colorful elements, distinctive patterns, and captivating typography. Target Audience: - The target audience for these designs is both men and women. Purpose: - The primary purpose of these designs is for casual wear. Maybe guys who like to drink and its kind of funny for them to wear it. Note that while the inspiration is drawn from , I am not looking for replicas. I want designs that are fresh, unique, and of high quality. If you think you have what it takes to create distinctively appealing shirt designs that meet these criteria, please get in touch. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Strong portfolio of previous shirt designs - Proficiency

I'm looking for a skilled .Net and Angular developer who can create an intuitive report generation system. The reports in question have not been specified - they could range from financial to sales or inventory reports. Required Skills and Experience: - Strong experience in .Net - Strong experience in Angular - Prior report development experience Project Details: - Generate dyn...Generate dynamic reports based on user input & getit downloaded or send by email. - As the types and purposes of reports have not been defined, flexibility and adaptability are required from the developer. - Ensuring the functionality and efficiency of the system is paramount. Please include relevant examples of your previous work in your bid. We initially require sample report like this with bar...

...Requirements: - You should have prior experience in scriptwriting, particularly for social media content. - An understanding of creating scripts that are both entertaining and informative. - Ability to write in a funny and lighthearted manner. - Strong creativity and originality in scriptwriting will be highly appreciated. - Research destinations, cultural practices, and travel trends to incorporate into scripts. - Write clear, concise, and engaging scripts for travel videos. Your primary task will be to write scripts that grab the viewer's attention and keep them engaged. The content should be funny and lighthearted, while at the same time, providing valuable and interesting information. Ideal skills and experiences: - Experience in scriptwriting for social media ...

...based public grievance web-based project for me. This project will include: - Complaint Handling System: This system should be capable of receiving, processing, and resolving complaints from users. It should categorize complaints based on their types and departments. - Sentiments Analysis Graph: An integral part of this project is the sentiments analysis graph. The graph should be designed as a bar chart, displaying the overall sentiment of the received complaints. - Department Categorization: Complaints should be automatically routed to the relevant department based on their nature. Ideal candidates for this project should have: - Proficiency in PHP, HTML, and CSS - Experience in building web-based complaint handling systems - Knowledge of sentiment analysis tools and data vis...

I am seeking a skilled interior designer with experience in creating contemporary kitchen designs. Key elements for this project are: - A functional island or breakfast bar. - A contemporary kitchen style. - A color scheme focusing on neutrals - specifically white, black, and gray. Ideal candidates will be able to incorporate these elements seamlessly into a stylish, modern design. Experience with open-style kitchens and smart appliances is a plus, but not compulsory. Let's create a modern and comfortable space together!.

I'm in need of an experienced website developer to build an e-commerce website for my business. The site should integrate paytm as the primary payment method and have the following essential features: - Product search and filters: The website should allow customers to easily find products through a search bar and filter options. - Shopping cart: A functional shopping cart that allows users to add items, view their cart and proceed to checkout. - Customer reviews and ratings: A feature that enables customers to leave and read reviews, as well as rate products. I'm looking for a developer with a strong background in e-commerce website development, specifically with experience in integrating paytm and implementing the mentioned features. A good understanding of user experie...

...based public grievance web-based project for me. This project will include: - Complaint Handling System: This system should be capable of receiving, processing, and resolving complaints from users. It should categorize complaints based on their types and departments. - Sentiments Analysis Graph: An integral part of this project is the sentiments analysis graph. The graph should be designed as a bar chart, displaying the overall sentiment of the received complaints. - Department Categorization: Complaints should be automatically routed to the relevant department based on their nature. Ideal candidates for this project should have: - Proficiency in PHP, HTML, and CSS - Experience in building web-based complaint handling systems - Knowledge of sentiment analysis tools and data vis...

I'm seeking a competent business plan writer to develop a comprehensive document primarily aimed at securing funding for my venture. My business will be a unique food hall, bar, and stage concept that caters to families, young professionals, and tourists. Key Components: - Industry Analysis: A deep dive into the food hall, bar, and entertainment industry, with a focus on current trends and potential growth areas. - Market Analysis: An evaluation of the target market, including families, young professionals, and tourists, and how our concept meets their needs. - Financial Projections: A detailed financial plan for the business, including revenue forecasts, cost analysis, and return on investment estimates. - Marketing Strategy: A robust marketing plan that outlines how w...

...Features: 1. Elegance and Practicality: The display should exude a sense of refinement while ensuring practicality in showcasing our range of clinical skin care products. 2. Brand Reflection: Incorporation of elements that reflect our brand identity is essential, enhancing brand recognition and coherence. for Branding Changes: Design should accommodate potential changes in branding signs and skincare products, allowing for easy updates without compromising the display's integrity 4. Storage Space for Disposables: Provision of designated compartments for disposables such as q-tips, napkins, and spatulas, ensuring convenience and organization. 5. Rotational Capability: Integration of a rotating mechanism to facilitate easy access and browsing for customers, optimizing us...

...We're not realtors.. We provide FUNNY MEME CONTENT to realtors I am in need of a unique and creative logo to represent my brand's identity, and also that can be used for various marketing purposes and on my website. The ideal freelancer for this project should be: - Highly creative - Experienced in developing diverse logos - Ability to conceptualize and execute my vision effectively Although, I have no indicated deadlines, a prompt turnaround, while maintaining quality would be appreciated. Applications without direct reference to past work and logo creation experience will not be considered. Please provide examples of prior logo designs in your bid. The name of the company is Social Agent Content Hub We provide funny memes, funny posts and other ...

Looking to design a real estate open house sign. The size of the sign is 24 inch wide by 18 inches height. I have attached my current real estate sign. I want to keep the colors the same and company logo in the same location(Top Right). I would like the sign to include "OPEN HOUSE", a White Arrow "-->", my Brokerage Name in small font (Lifestyle/Yonge Realty Inc. Brokerage...company logo in the same location(Top Right). I would like the sign to include "OPEN HOUSE", a White Arrow "-->", my Brokerage Name in small font (Lifestyle/Yonge Realty Inc. Brokerage), Name(Ashkan Shokouhi, Realtor salesperson in small font, Phone Number(416)303-3079).You can adjust the font size of the Name, Brokerage name to suit the size of the sign. I Have attached ...

Resumen del Proyecto: El proyecto consiste en el desarrollo de una aplicación móvil para generar invitaciones con códigos QR. La aplicación tiene como objetivo simplificar el proceso de venta de entradas para eventos organizados en un bar local. Las funcionalidades principales incluyen registro de usuarios, generación de códigos QR, venta de entradas y escaneo de códigos QR en la entrada del evento. Además, se requiere un panel de administración basado en web para gestionar la aplicación. Requerimientos del Proyecto: 1. **Desarrollo de Aplicación Móvil:** - Crear una aplicación móvil compatible con plataformas iOS y Android. - Implementar funcionalidades de registro y inicio de...

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: AI GENERATED CONTENT WILL BE BANNED!!! NO AI GENERATED IMAGES!!! I'm looking for artwork for a podcast. This artwork will be the main visual representation of the podcast across various platforms. The attached sample is what i am looking f...BANNED!!! NO AI GENERATED IMAGES!!! I'm looking for artwork for a podcast. This artwork will be the main visual representation of the podcast across various platforms. The attached sample is what i am looking for, do not deviate too much from the sample. Podcast name: Hamilton Happy Hour The only changes to this i am looking for are that the two people need to be sitting around a piano bar (look at the two screenshots attached). Other than that, keep everything else like the original HHH.jpg. NO AI GENERATE...

...thunderstorm storm blows a tree down trapping the mayor and town council in the town hall, the entire town gathers to use their special gifts to free them. The main character is a young pulley named Peety who doesn't know what his special gift is and so sets out to discover it by helping others free the mayor and town council. Character List: Peety (a pulley) A wrench (his mom) A hammer A crow bar A shovel An electric circular saw Key Requirements: - Proficiency in creating cartoon-style illustrations - Prior experience in illustrating for children's books is a plus - Understanding of child psychology and what appeals to children in the specified age group - Ability to create engaging, original characters Ideal Skills and Experience: - Strong portfolio featuring pre...

I am urgently in need of a competent SEO specialist with experience in Linux. SEO would need installed onto server, knowledge in Maria DB, MySQL would also be an advantage im sure the website runs on apache Areas of expertise should include on-page optimization and in-depth keyword research. The primary goals of the campaign include: - Boosting search engine rankings - Raising the bar of organic traffic - Enhancing website visibility - Alt images Interested parties should demonstrate a strong background in these skills and be able to get started on the project immediately. Your quick and positive impact on our ranking and visibility is our priority.

I'm in dire need of someone who can swiftly develop a graph for me, with the focus on my intrusion detection model. The type of graph I'm looking at is somewhat unique - it's not one of those common line, bar, or pie charts. Having a deep understanding of various kinds of graphs, and knowing how to implement them creatively, will come in handy for this task. The graph will be used to explain the methodology behind my model. Unfortunately, there aren't any further details I can provide on whether it is a trend, comparison or distribution graph. Crucially, I need this task completed within the next 3 hours. Therefore, prompt response and efficient work are essential. I do have an example to guide you, but thinking on your feet might also be necessary. Experience...

...demographic and five psychographic (lifestyle, values, beliefs, personality…) descriptions of the person Section 2 (2-3 pages’ maximum) Based on their promotions, describe how they are taking their customers through the brand perceptual process (use the perceptual process diagram 7 apply it to your brand) What semiotics are they using? Use the object/ sign/ Interpretant framework. Classify their signs/ semiotics (into icon, index, symbol) and justify your answer Section 3 (3-4 pages’ maximum) What learning objective do they have for their brand (create, change, OR sustain certain behaviour) What learning theory/ theories are being used by the marketer to develop appropriate brand knowledge and attitude? Elucidate your argument Draw a possible associative netw...

I'm in need of a proficient PowerBI analyst who can effectively connect to different data sources: Excel spreadsheets, SQL database, and CSV files. Your tasks involve creating detailed reports and conducting: - Sales performance analysis - Financial dashboards - Customer segmentation I have a preference for Bar and Pie charts in the visualization of these reports. Ideal applicants should have valuable experience in these fields and have an innate knack for making data comprehensible. Excellence in the mentioned chart formats is paramount. Having a solid background in Excel, SQL and CSV data manipulation will be a plus.

...and motocross dirt track 11. Outdoor and indoor swimming pools 12. 2 padel courts 13. Outdoor cinema/amphitheatre 14. 4 Ping-Pong tables 15. Soccer field 16. Events centre 17. Aqua park 18. A lot of relaxation areas (hammocks, gazebos, benches, outdoor pillow seatings, etc.) 19. Parking lots and drive through alleys 20. Bar/terrace for drinks and relaxation 21. Campfire area For adults, we envisage: - Spa and wellness center - Fitness center - Restaurant and bar - Artificial salt room - Kinetic and physio therapy The desired architectural style is modern. Therefore, you must have the ability to merge functionality and modern design. Your proposal should reflect an understanding of the specific requirements and your ability to deliver a comprehensive master plan ...

...UI/UX designer to review, customize, and improve my Shopify store's existing theme, as well as the app using in Shopify that sells phone cases and accessories. The primary focus is on enhancing the user experience to drive increased conversion rates. Key requirements include: - Reviewing and customizing the Homepage layout, Product pages and listing pages, Navigation menus (including the Navigation bar and Footer) - Customize the existing theme across the store - Review existing app and provide suggestions for the alternative app if necessary - Implementing user-friendly design elements that ultimately lead to a boost in conversion rates Ideal skills and experience for this job includes: - Proficiency in Shopify store design and theming - Extensive experience in UI/UX desi...

I am in need of a robust and efficient inventory management system made in Excel. This project requires: - Tracking of product qu...quantities and managing stock levels to ensure seamless operation - Cataloguing of each product's relevant information including its name, SKU/Part number, quantity, batch number and expiry date - Methods of updating system quantities should be manual entry and bar code scanning. Knowledge in these methods is required. Ideal candidates should have extensive experience in Excel and inventory management system creation, preferably with a sound understanding of retail or related sectors. They should also be adept at implementing bar code scanning into Excel systems. Sharp attention to detail and ability to optimize for efficiency and usabil...

...cultivation consulting, drone services, and 3D printing for agriculture. Target Audience: Agricultural businesses, 2. Design Requirements: Color Scheme and Logo: Use the colors specified in the CD manual and integrate the logo to strengthen brand identity. Font: Consistent use of the Gotham font for text elements to maintain a uniform appearance. Layout: Clear, user-friendly navigation with a main menu bar that includes pages for "Home," "About Us," "Services," "Contact," and legal pages. Responsiveness: Optimize the website for all device types to appeal to a broad user base. 3. Technical Requirements: CMS: Use WordPress (or others) with appropriate security plugins and regular backups. Hosting and Domain: Recommendation for reliable ...

Hi, I have three more photos where the logo-band shall be inserted. It's an easier job than before. And after, we might get an ok to do it in "real" also and we can discuss also price of printing and installing. Kind regards, Patrick The logo-banner (like done before) shall be added to the company-signs at about the size marked yellow, running from side-to-side. Black banner with white logo (like at the windows before). On the reception desk use white background and logo in black. Please mind the height of the logo-banner. Shall be like marked. I also upload the former files for you.

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I'm seeking a skilled graphic designer to create a funny, brightly colored T-shirt design that features humans. The aim is to create an engaging, humorous design that is sure to catch the attention. Key Requirements: - Excellent skills and experience in graphic design, particularly with T-shirt design. - Ability to create eye-catching, humorous designs. - Proficiency in handling bright colors and human figures in design. - Good sense of humor to incorporate wit in the design. The ideal candidate will have a keen eye for detail and ability to translate ideas into creative graphics. It needs to have my company name and phone number, Custom Pro Services llc 256-399-7140. I want it to say something like, i got plastered by Custom Pro Services. We are a swimming pool plast...

...a map of our campsite featuring: - Restroom and upscale bathroom facilities - Walking trails - Posh loos - Hot showers and dressing rooms - The Beaute Shed (for festival hair and makeup) - Wellness area (for massage and relaxation) - Hot tubs and sauna - Water points - Festival shuttle pick up / drop off point - Communal fire pit - Various types of accommodation (Bell tents, Tipis, Yurts etc.) - Bar and restaurant yurt - Crew camping areas - SIA security base - Main entrance and car park - Local landmarks such as Glastonbury Tor and the Glastonbury Festival - Reception area On the second side of the card, useful information including: - Festival shuttle pick up / drop off point details - The Beaute Shed treatment options and prices - Introduction to our team - Details for breakf...

...Our current clients are large restaurant chains, hotels, car dealerships, banks, retail, etc…. Current website and a partial approach by another Competitors This guy trolls me and he’s based out of California yet shows everywhere with fake addresses: Others: ...

Looking for a designer to help us design a flyer + social package for a Margaritaville Themed Bar Pop up. Info in attached PDF good luck!

We have some issues with featured images on our WP site. They are currently not showing up on some of new pages, even though they appear as expected on the homepage, blog posts, and product pages. If we copy an existing page and modify it to make a new page, the featured image shows up, but if you create a new page, the image is not showing up. Also a side menu bar is also not showing on the new created page unless we copy the existing page and modify to make a new page. We believe that this is the code issue. The perfect candidate for this job will: - Have extensive WordPress experience and a deep understanding of its back-end systems - Have experience with a variety of WordPress themes - Be able to troubleshoot and resolve the issues in a timely manner Please propose your sol...

Detailed overall drawings will be provided ① Production of frame model - Basement of the first basement floor and first floor above ground, designated expression - Expression of floor level difference between the 2nd and 6th floors above ground - Expression of external...Production of detailed reinforcement model - Column, girder, beam (at least 1, reinforcement spacing doubled) - Foundation, slab (only partial representation) ③ RC beam bending, shear analysis and design ④ Preparation of detailed labor distribution model (planned) schedule ⑤ Detailed reinforcement model (planned) construction cost estimation - Quantity calculation basis, work type statement, tally table, bar chart - Scheduled for final presentation - actual comparison ⑥ Preparation of final presentation material (PP...

Detailed overall drawings will be provided ① Production of frame model - Basement of the first basement floor and first floor above ground, designated expression - Expression of floor level difference between the 2nd and 6th floors above ground - Expression of external f...detailed reinforcement model - Column, girder, beam (at least 1, reinforcement spacing doubled) - Foundation, slab (only partial representation) ③ RC beam bending, shear analysis and design ④ Preparation of detailed labor distribution model (planned) schedule ⑤ Detailed reinforcement model (planned) construction cost estimation - Quantity calculation basis, work type statement, tally table, bar chart - Scheduled for final presentation - actual comparison ⑥ Preparation of final presentation material (PP...

I'm looking for a talented graphic designer who can create live animations for screens in my bar. Specifically, I need animations of our logos, designed in a retro or vintage style. These animations will be used as permanent decor in the bar, so they should have an enduring appeal and add to the overall ambiance. Key Responsibilities: - Design and animate our logos in a retro or vintage style - Create engaging, eye-catching, and visually appealing animations - Ensure the animations are suitable for a bar setting and can be displayed continuously Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in graphic design tools and animation software - Strong understanding of retro and vintage design aesthetics - Experience in creating animations for commercial or public spaces - Ability to cr...

I would like designs for two signs made. For the first sign, please use the text below (SIGN 1), the attached logo, and QR code to this link - For the second sign, please use the text below (SIGN 2) --------------- SIGN 1: Help Us Paint a Greener Future! Get your face painted for just 1 EUR, and support a great cause! For every face painting, 1 EUR will be donated to Let's Make Cyprus Green, an environmental NGO dedicated to creating a cleaner and greener Cyprus for all. Let's add a splash of color to your day while making a positive impact on our planet. Join us in painting a brighter future, one face at a time! Thank you for your support! --------------------- SIGN 2: Smile for the Camera! Please be aware that this event is being photographed

I'm urgently in need of a Python specialist to accomplish an assignment using Jupyter Notebook. The task involves reading and merging multiple Excel sheets, and subsequently creating visual representations for the collated data. Key requirements are: - Deep knowledge of Python for data analysis - Proficiency in creating Bar Charts, Scatter Plots, and Line Graphs. - Strong skills in Excel data manipulation. Required libraries/packages expertise: - Matplotlib - Seaborn - pandas Your responsibility will be to decode the problems presented, manipulate provided Excel data accordingly, and present the output in an understandable visual format. Previous experience in similar tasks will be highly regarded. Will show the work on zoom and will connect and probably do it together Ma...

...Brutally True Haiku. Each card will have a humorous haiku that addresses one of those brutal truths that we need to know but don't want to hear. A couple of amateur examples: You are bad at sex Porn is not education Ask me what I like He does not text you Because he does not want to Don't complicate truth I am looking for haiku that are humorous in their simple truth. (They are actually only funny if you are not the receipient). They should not be malicious and they should not be so softened that the brutal truth is obscured. They should not have flowery poetic language. Some possible subjects are always being late, bad breath, always talking about yourself, being a bad listener, looking at your phone and ignoring people, breaking up with a romantic partner, break...

Website is Search bar at top configured/customized to suit new zealand cities/regions with auot complete

Our system stacks various features on top of each other. The attached is our draft of our news feature. The left side will have an internal scroll bar which scrolls down to see more news items. When one comes in focus, the highlight bar on the right will update to show the one in focus. We aren't worried about the actual news item but would like to perfect everything else.

I'm in need of a creative tee shirt design for our indoor pickleball club. The design should be hand-drawn in a cartoonish style, with a quirky and fun twist. Key Imagery: - Incorporate Pickleball Equipment and Funny Characters creatively. - I'm also looking for a unique element - a planet that looks like an indoor pickleball with 26 holes. It should be central to the design, but not overwhelming. - To give you an idea of the kind of fun we're looking for, there's an alien with a paddle, and a girl in a bathtub full of pickleballs - a 'pickleball plunge'. Design Aesthetic: - The chosen color scheme should be black and white, giving a classic simplicity to the design. - The overall style should be light-hearted and fun. Ideal Skills and Experien...

I'm looking for a skilled designer to create some humorous t-shirt design for all men casual bowling team called Pick-Up-Artist. Funny sexy design - Target Audience: The primary target audience for these t-shirts is casual bowlers. They should appeal to those who engage in bowling for fun and leisure. - Design Style: I'm looking for designs that predominantly focus on puns, wordplay, and incorporate visual gags. Clever, witty humor is key, so experience with this style is a huge plus. - Color Preferences: The t-shirts should be designed in bright and bold colors to make them stand out and add to their humorous appeal. Ideal Skills: - T-shirt design experience - Proficiency in creating designs with puns, wordplay, and visual gags - Understanding of the casual bowler targe...