Instant Messenger Bot

OBJECTIVE: create an Instant Message autoresponder. DEVELOPMENT: No specific language or platform is required. Java, C++, .NET, PHP are all possible. I have existing enterprise-level linux boxes where the software can be deployed, or I can buy Windows boxes if necessary. Project should be completed using a 2 stage development process. STAGE 1: CORE FUNCTIONALITY: 1. auto-add users who contact me 2. respond with one message, then stop - even if the user sends additional messages. 3. time-delay for autoreply 4. supports unlimited connections; must be stable at 20,000+ daily messages 5. supports Yahoo IM, AOL, or MSN messenger clients (all or just one) 6. robust enough to handle 500+ incoming "friend requests" per hour and 1000+ outgoing messages per hour STAGE 2: ADVANCED FUNCTIONALITY: 1. define X number of preset responses; for example, I can specify 1 response, 2 responses, etc and configure each response. If I specify 1 response, then this would happen: [user] says: "hi" I say: "hello" [user] says: "whats up?" and here the conversation ends, I send no more replies. Whereas if I had specified "2" responses, the conversation would look like: [user] says: "hi" I say: "hello" [user] says: "whats up?" I say: "the sky" 2. keyword-based responses filter incoming message for keyword; send pre-set template response based on keyword in message 3. user macros for randomization: I can define macros in my preset responses. For example, response #1 may look like this: ~hello~ ~howareyou~ and then I would define the following macros for those terms: ~hello~ [hi, hello, hey, heya] ~howareyou~ [how are you, hows it going, whats up?] This increases randomaization of each message 4. send outbound messaging to all users on my contact list 5. supports unlimited bots For example; I load in a list of 500 AIM usernames/passwords. They are all active and 'listening' at the same time, ready to respond to users who message them. 6. individual responses for each bot For each individual bot (username), I can set unique pre-programmed responses. If you message 'happygirl' you get a different response than if you message 'cutiegirl', etc. 7. If possible, supports most major Instant Messengers, including: AOL, YIM, MSN, ICQ, SKype; possibly through Miranda IM or some other 'all in one' client 8. bots develiver GEO targeted responses by plugging into my system's SOAP API and querying the relevant data