Revise a sales letter

Bid based on one revised sales letter. I have sales marketing experience and provide regular material for an email campaign for a popular US company. Please see sample below. The Dirty Little Secret They Don’t Want You to Know About Pain Masking According to the New England Journal of Medicine – “A major new public health campaign is needed in the U.S. to battle an “epidemic” of chronic pain”. But don’t hold your breath on the campaign starting soon, it isn’t in the interests of the big drug companies for that campaign to happen and they have 3 lobbyist in Washington DC for every member in congress to protect their interests. The problem is that with holding this information effects you and your family… 1. How Big is the Problem? In a word GIANORMOUS — This is a Serious Problem - the 2011 Institute of Medicine (IOM) Report stated, “The magnitude of pain in the United
States is astounding. More than 116 million Americans suffer from chronic or acute pain.”, — This is a Growing Problem – the IOM Report estimates 170 million Americans will be living in chronic pain by 2030. — This is an American Problem – America rate of Chronic Pain is 300-400% higher the other industrial nations. 2. How Serious is the Problem? In a word DEADLY — “The pain reliever used in