Write a prospecting letter that will get responses.

  • Tila: Closed
  • Palkinto: $250
  • Vastaanotetut työt: 16
  • Voittaja: nicholaszube

Kilpailun tehtävänanto

We mail a 2-page letter, and include a special report and small gift, to attract high-end clients. We have had a poor response rate. We know the list is a quality list.

The contest is to rewrite the letter (and possibly the special report) to increase response rates.

Suositellut taidot

Julkinen selvennystaulu

  • iaadi
    iaadi
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Please rate #16 .

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • Kimz912
    Kimz912
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Hi Urandi,
    I'd like to discuss some further options for my entry, please pm me if you are interested. Look forward to hearing from you.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • SmaSimSolutions
    SmaSimSolutions
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    yeah, i'm rewriting the letter and the report. please wait for my entry. also if possible check my bio & work samples
    thank you

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      We couldn't find any work samples.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
    2. SmaSimSolutions
      SmaSimSolutions
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      https://www.freelancer.com/contest/Write-a-blog-on-finance-48978.html

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • SmaSimSolutions
    SmaSimSolutions
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Hello, Kindly review entry #24 SmaSimSolutions. I have written this letter in compliance with the guidelines given about writing an investment prospective letter on http://www.investmentexecutive.com/-/create-an-effective-prospecting-letter
    I am working on the special report as well (It just has to be edited to 8 pages and re-designed.) i will submit it in 2 days time.
    Thank You,
    regards.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Urandi,

    It doesn’t appear as if I’ll make the deadline, unless you opt for an extension, which is doubtful. In any case, I’ll present my suggestions and hope that it works to your benefit.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    You’ve elected to refer to potential clients by first name. However, these aren’t current clients; they’re potential clients. Addressing them by their first name almost immediately instills a sense of distrust given your intent of attracting leads.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Your introduction should actually open with reasons why the audience should continue reading. I didn’t see that in the letter. Furthermore, you’re referring to a report that the audience may not be aware of beforehand.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    You’re assuming that investors don’t have a sound strategy, adviser, or publication to base their decisions on, but this is likely not the case. Your true aim should be attracting potentially new entrants and detracting current investors away from their advisers (or go-to investment guides).

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Structurally, the letter should be formulated with something enticing in the very beginning (i.e., “Why should the reader care?”), something meaningful in the middle (i.e., statistics supporting your claims), and something targeted towards leads generation at the very end (i.e., investment advice/consultation/report).

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    If your goal is to help people by informing them of volatility in the market, then there’s really no need to note that “a vast amount of research was performed” at the end of the letter. This makes the reader even more suspicious.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    The letter could have been improved in terms of language and style (Was the comment about the newsletter being written in plain English really necessary?), but I personally felt that its lack of meaningful content was the most eye-catching.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    As for the report, it seems that a lot of research was performed, but how does it all entice potentially new investors? Current investors and new entrants should both be able to benefit from it. Technical terms and lack of detail didn’t make the report very attractive.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TheGuyver2040
    TheGuyver2040
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Fonts and the arrangement of certain graphics utilized in the special report were a bit distracting. All in all, the report did little to distance itself from other sales pitches. I guess with both the letter and report, you’ve failed to consider your audience. Flashy graphics won’t appeal to those aged forty and over; they will be more interested in the informative details that you provide following each graph, each statistic, and each evaluation of current trends in the market.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • lafs
    lafs
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    #10 ???

    • 3 vuotta sitten
  • SmaSimSolutions
    SmaSimSolutions
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    hello, should i rewrite the report also? or just the 2 page letter. please clarify the doubt ASAP. thank you

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      you would probably do better to rewrite both, if they need improvement.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
    2. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      It depends on whether you think the report can be improved. If you can improve it, then we suggest you rewrite it. If you think it is fine the way it is, just let us know why you think so. thank you for your attention and assistance.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • iaadi
    iaadi
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Hi Urandi! I went through your letter and the report a couple of times but I realized that I needed to understand some more about your finance services before pitching. So I tried to visit your website but couldn't. Access is denied to Indian IPs.
    I hope you understand that a lot of efforts go into writing a letter to get conversions. And so I wish to learn if you are are accepting entries from Indians. I do wish to participate but I must be assured of fair judging for that. Please share. Thanks. :)

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      We are seeking the best entry, regardless of location. I am not sure why it would be blocked in India? Is it something in your IP? I do not have any geographic blocks set up. Maybe you can use a service like one of these http://www.top-proxies.co.uk/.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • upasanamakhal
    upasanamakhal
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    can you just clarify more about the contest.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      We gave you the letter and want you to rewrite it. What other details do you need?

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • TobinBell
    TobinBell
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Dear Client,

    I have previous experience in writing, rewriting and proofreading academic papers/essays/research papers/press releases and am hoping to provide you high-quality and well-researched works.


    I am ready to work on your project immediately!
    Send me the details you think are relevant to a better understanding of what it is that you expect from the successful candidate!I am awaiting your instuctions!Get the quality you deserve! :)

    Please give me more details regarding the desired 2-page letter,and I will do my best to comply on all possible levels! Please check my portfolio and customer feedbacks for further reference.

    Regards,
    Laszlo

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      We gave you the letter and want you to rewrite it. What other details do you need? Please be specific.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • developingtech
    developingtech
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    u have other format of this pdf file like .psd or any other ??? and give me logo file.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      We can add the logo to the letter you write. This is not a graphic artist contest, it is to write a letter that will get response from prospective clients.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • Kimz912
    Kimz912
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    what is the gift which is sent to the prospective clients?

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      Lately, it is a magnifying glass. Or a magnetic white board. It varies.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • mauvir
    mauvir
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    What are the details and elaborate guidelines about 2 page letter? .The information will prove quite helpful to work in the best possible way.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      Can you read the entry again?

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • Godlikecreative
    Godlikecreative
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    First of all, as you described above you are focusing "to attract high-end clients" but after we saw your attached PDF letter you will never get high-end clients, if you provide letter like this. We understand, that you are trying to explain every detail in this letter, but to be honest with you, we have had few high-end clients in Europe and we need to tell you that they wont spend time reading your letter, because the concept and quality of design of the letter is very poor. Did you know you have only first twenty seconds to attract high end clients otherwise they will stop reading immediately. We are able to provide this kind of letter for you to bring much higher response rate for you.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. Godlikecreative
      Godlikecreative
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      I explain you our work schedule for this project:
      1. Analyze your business
      2. Make the letter much shorter to attract high end clients
      3.Change the the way you are trying to attract high-end clients in the letter
      such as this "If you have significant investment assets that you want to protect as well as grow, you absolutely must read our special report ..."
      4.Graphic redesign of the letter
      5.Also the whole concept of this letter.

      Please let us know if you would like to work with us.
      Best Regards,
      Alexandra

      • 3 vuotta sitten
    2. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      Its a contest. If you want to join, please do. If not, quit slamming us.

      • 3 vuotta sitten
  • milleriren
    milleriren
    • 3 vuotta sitten

    Hi,

    I am a professional native writer and working as a freelance writer/editor since 2010. Please give me more details. I am ready to serve you.

    • 3 vuotta sitten
    1. urandi
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 3 vuotta sitten

      what do you need to know? We thought we provided everything.

      • 3 vuotta sitten

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