Rewrite Part of my Science Fiction Chapter

  • Tila: Closed
  • Palkinto: $200
  • Vastaanotetut työt: 17
  • Voittaja: CassGalFriday

Kilpailun tehtävänanto

I would like the attached science fiction chapter re-written.
Most importantly, I want an alternative to Spri getting trapped by a hand noose. If you can think of a more interesting way to trap Spri for the confrontation with the old man, that would be great. Find a trap that shows the cleverness of the old man but still shows Spri as strong and smart. Alternately, maybe you can find a better way to make the hand noose trap interesting.
As a second priority, general improvements and editing to other parts of this chapter are also welcome.

I will not use any material from this contest that I don't pay for. In addition to the winner who of course will be paid $200, I am also hoping for a runner up that I really like that I can buy for $100 as a backup idea. The second place runner up award is not guaranteed. First place award is guaranteed.

Attached is background information about the chapter, and the chapter itself. Your entry will be the chapter document with your changes.

Suositellut taidot

Työnantajan palaute

“Good Communication. Would hire again.”

Profiilikuva jimmgrogan, United States.

Kilpailun parhaat työt

Näytä lisää töitä

Julkinen selvennystaulu

  • jimmgrogan
    Kilpailun järjestäjä
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Thank you all. There were several wonderful entries and I plan to buy a couple more as backup options. I am waiting for the second place person to accept the $100 offer else I will offer that prize to another. Then I will attempt to negotiate with the next best entry and ask them to accept $50 to let me buy theirs. I might buy two entries at $50 each after a $100 prize is accepted. I can only use one but I want some more as alternates, keepsakes or possible short stories or something.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. sumikanth
      sumikanth
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Hi! Thanks for choosing a winner to the contest. It was lovely to read the winning entry. I am slightly disappointed that I couldn't win, but what does that matter :) Please inform me if you would like to buy my entry.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. christeldanning
      christeldanning
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Thank you very much for posting this contest. It was a pleasure to participate!

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • wandracoperation
    wandracoperation
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    who is getting the second prize

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Iancrowe. It should show there now.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • matama
    matama
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    It was an interesting contest, that's for sure. You may want to select the runner's up on your side though- i know that there is a way for employers to do that. That way you can make your offers based on priorities.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
  • HKPatel7
    HKPatel7
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hey Jim, would it be possible to extend this contest? I just found it today and was hoping to submit an entry, but I won't be able to in the allotted time. Thanks. #extended

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Hmm. Actually I am a bit overwhelmed with the entries already. I have several great entries and I already feel guilty at the prospect of not letting all the good ones win. Sorry.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • AnnaGb32
    AnnaGb32
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hi, Jim. I like the others, eagerly await your feed back about my contribution. I am a new freelancer and even if my entry is not selected I would really appreciate your opinion on my work. If possible, I also would like to know the name of the novel so that I may read this interesting story in its entirety. Thanks in advance.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      I do plan to give star ratings and as much feedback as is allowed in the 1000 character text box for every new entry. Hopefully I will finish them all today. The title will be 'Baktu'. It may be another month or more before it's published. Updates will be on my secret blog named after my freelancer username, since URLs are not allowed in these comments.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      And thanks for the complement.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • wandracoperation
    wandracoperation
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    i have completed my entry please wait for it.. i will recheck and send it few hours before the contest expires

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      okay

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • sumikanth
    sumikanth
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    As an additional thought, please let me know whenever this book gets published, regardless of the outcome of the contest. I would love to review a copy if it every comes out. It sounds very interesting.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      The title will be 'Baktu'. It may be another month or more before it's published. Updates will be on my blog at ... um, it won't let me put a URL in this comment ... at jimmgrogan

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • sumikanth
    sumikanth
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hi. I hope you can spare the time to take a look at and possible give feedback to my entry #18 . I would love to change it if requested to do so. Thank you for posting this very creatively engaging and thought provoking contest! It has certainly encouraged writers like me to put their thoughts together and mould their skills by trying to modify an already very strong sci-fi manuscript.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Thank you, I'm blushing. I do plan to give star ratings and as much feedback as is allowed in the 1000 character text box for every new entry. Hopefully I will finish them all today.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • hepzi
    hepzi
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hi Jim - it is impossible to upload files to here, is there an e-mail or something we could send it to?

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Thanks matama for helping so many people with this.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. matama
      matama
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      You are welcome :)

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • jenicaxb
    jenicaxb
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    uhm hello im a bit new here and im interested in joining this contest, but i dont think i know how to post an entry. it says 'upload picture' and there are no other options but this is a writing competition right? i dont dare to try anything to upload an entry yet because im not completely done but i will be done before the contest closes. so please help?

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      For contest entries you have to submit your pages as a series of images. Freelancer.com says this is good so it's harder for for me to get the final product before I actually award you the prize. After you win, you can upload the actual word document file for me.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. jenicaxb
      jenicaxb
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      oh. ok thank you. please do wait for my entry, i will not submit late!

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • matama
    matama
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Please rate entries #14 and #15. I made a few changes based on what you did not seem to like in the first file i sent. Please let me know which of the two versions you prefer.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
  • coderclinz
    coderclinz
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hi, I need a small clarification. I have asked it my entry comments could you please clarify it ?:)

    • 2 vuotta sitten
  • wandracoperation
    wandracoperation
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    hello i have some great ideas for rewriting but please give me time. i will definitely submit before the contests ends. so please don't select any winners before it.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      okay

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • matama
    matama
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Please rate #12 and #13 together. They are part of one file that was too large to submit at once for some reason. Sorry for the inconvenience. I did not know what else to do.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      okay

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • coderclinz
    coderclinz
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hope you have read my entry :)

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      I will get to it this week

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • CassGalFriday
    CassGalFriday
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Thanks for posting this great project! I just found it and am looking forward to your feedback soon! Please contact me if you award before my submission, as I would be interested in future opportunities.
    All my best,
    Cass

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      I will wait a couple days or more before ending the contest.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • sanjeevk5335
    sanjeevk5335
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Will you look at my entry if I submit it within one day? Please don't tell me that the contest me over for I am doing this :)

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Okay, I'll wait before determining a winner. I wasn't going to end it right away anyway, I was just going to start grading entries with the stars and giving more detailed feedback as I find time.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • jimmgrogan
    Kilpailun järjestäjä
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    I have gotten some great entries. Thank you for your work. I will try to give detailed feedback and star rating over the next day or two. All the entries (except the "Coming Soon" one) were better than adequate. Some are great. If I say anything negative in the feedback, please be aware that I think you did good.

    • 2 vuotta sitten
  • puja2024puja
    puja2024puja
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Hi I will be interested in giving my ideas to the science fiction , kindly let me know

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      What would you like to know puja2024puja?

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Have you participated in a contest before? This is different than a regular project.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • jimmgrogan
    Kilpailun järjestäjä
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    What would you like to know?

    • 2 vuotta sitten
  • upasanabannerji
    upasanabannerji
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    I want to help you in this. please let me know what i need to do in order to get in touch with you

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      I'm not an expert with the freelancer website, but I assume there is a way to send private messages. You could ask freelancer technical support. I notice they do not allow exchange of email addresses.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      If you submit your entry, it is easy to send private messages back and forth. I just click on your contest entry to go to a page where I can read your entry and give you feedback. Also there you can response or ask questions.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • matama
    matama
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Can we add a few paragraphs for clarity and extend the chapter by a page or two? Also, would you like us to capitalize terms like kaziter, kazimon and so on or leave them as they are? What about italicizing them to show that they are not human terms?

    • 2 vuotta sitten
    1. jimmgrogan
      Kilpailun järjestäjä
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      Yes you can add paragraphs or extend the chapter. I'm not sure about italicizing kaziter or kazimon. Since the word is used so often in the book, I'm guessing it's better not to italicize or capitalize.

      • 2 vuotta sitten
    2. matama
      matama
      • 2 vuotta sitten

      okay, got it

      • 2 vuotta sitten
  • jimmgrogan
    Kilpailun järjestäjä
    • 2 vuotta sitten

    Another background item I forgot to mention is that the technology level on the quarantined planet Baktu is low, like 1950s Earth.

    • 2 vuotta sitten

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