8. "This test involves a comprehensive understanding in engineering..." = "These test results reflect a comprehensive understanding of engineering..."
9. Last line of 2nd paragraph should read "He consistently demonstrates the analytical skills to solve problems, he is enthusiastic and remains attentive, and he strives to perform well and improve himself.
The #9 edit alone strengthens the message with dynamic word choice, brings clarity by reiterating the subject, improves cadence, uses proper list mechanics, and corrects a misplaced comma.
No editing software is necessary to create dynamic, error-free copy when good editing is employed. Here are my corrections of just the first two paragraphs of the winning entry submission.
1. Comma after Energy Studies (third line) should be a period.
2. "graduate year which included" = "graduate year, including"
3. "and had also been" doesn’t make any sense; the subject of the verb is unclear.
4. "courses such as" = "courses, such as"
5. "Seminar" looks like a mistake. Which Seminar?
6. You don't "secure 86.1%." Use stronger verb and define the figure: "...achieve a completion rate of 86.1%..." or "...maintain an 86.1% rate of accuracy..." etc.
7. He “qualified for the Graduate Aptitude Test” or "achieved a qualifying score on the Graduate Aptitude Test"?