Freelancer: mrconley
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Hair Loss Blog Revise M Conley

Much of your content was very good but, unfortunately, quite repetitive. I eliminated all the redundancy without losing any of your important points. I also used bold face and Italic type to call out major points. I think this makes the blog article much easier and more inviting to read. You may want to look at the part about the "cocktail treatments" closely. I had some trouble understanding if the oils were to be used on their own or mixed with the lemon/vinegar options. Also, you used the term "SPA," so I kept that. But I wasn't quite sure if that was the appropriate word. I'll be glad to work on this further if you choose my entry as the winner. I enjoyed revising your copy and hope you like what I did. More importantly, I look forward to getting more assignments like this to support your overall blog efforts. Thanks for taking the time to read my entry. Good luck with your contest!

Julkinen selvennystaulu

Ei vielä viestejä.