Hair Loss Blog Revise M Conley
Much of your content was very good but, unfortunately, quite repetitive. I eliminated all the redundancy without losing any of your important points. I also used bold face and Italic type to call out major points. I think this makes the blog article much easier and more inviting to read. You may want to look at the part about the "cocktail treatments" closely. I had some trouble understanding if the oils were to be used on their own or mixed with the lemon/vinegar options. Also, you used the term "SPA," so I kept that. But I wasn't quite sure if that was the appropriate word. I'll be glad to work on this further if you choose my entry as the winner. I enjoyed revising your copy and hope you like what I did. More importantly, I look forward to getting more assignments like this to support your overall blog efforts. Thanks for taking the time to read my entry. Good luck with your contest!